A Reboot of Sorts

It's been a really long time.
I needed a sabbatical.
Don't get me wrong.
I had a lot in my brain I wanted to say but with the kids, the dead of winter and several illnesses, putting my thoughts in here was not happening.
Well, I suppose I need to start fresh now as trying to recall all those random thoughts would be as unlikely as us having everyone in the house sleep through the night these days.
Let's try to catch up before I start anew.
DS is a happy baby which makes me a happy mommy. He smiles. He giggles. He plays with his hands and stares at it as if he's on some weird trip.
DD is going through the regression stage of having a new baby in the house. Top that off with her being 3 and it's good times all around. I can't complain though as she's not terrible. She's just going through the I'll be overdramatic for some added attention.
Oh and she's on the occasional, "I'm a baby" pretend play too. She's had DH swaddle her. I've worn her on the Ergo. (By the way, the Ergo is an awesome beast. I barely felt her on my back.)
We're also in full pretend mode. Every day, the entire family is someone/thing else. One day we will all be boys. The next day we are all girls. One day we are animals.
Now that I'm back at the office, DD is also doing alot of 'Heading to the office' play.
DH is doing well although I think he's feeling a bit overwhelmed. He's focusing on photography and videography to give him something outside of the family. (I strongly believe that every parent needs something outside of the family to keep their sanity.)
The dog is now physically fighting against walks. Have you heard of a dog that doesn't like to go out for a walk?!
Ok, back to what's hanging out in the pantry...
In January, there was a two week period where if I didn't have things to do outside with the kids, I became a hermit. It wasn't a depression stay at home thing. It felt more like a hibernation, storing my energy. Part of the cause was a cough that just wouldn't leave. Another part was the knowledge that I was returning to work. Another part was everyone I know is battling an illness, some mild some pretty heavy.
I'm not sure what's going on but I pray every day for my friends and family who are ill.
On the baptism front, DS is still not baptized although I'd like him to be already. MIL has asked to wait until she arrives which she has decided is not until the winter weather subsides. I'm trying my best to coordinate.
I'm back at work and I'm pretty psyched. It feels good to be back in the office even though I'm still dealing with poop. I suppose that's a part of life, you deal with poop in some shape or form whether you are a parent or a worker bee.
Sadly some things are still status quo which on one hand makes me feel as though I haven't missed much but at the same time, makes everything feel as though time has stood still. It's just darn odd.
My mommy guilt that was prevalant prior to DS' birth regarding changing DD's life has disappeared. I'm not feeling the mommy guiilt about 2nd child syndrom yet. I do have mommy guilt about DD and wondering if my expectations for her are too high. (A 3 year old should be able to regulate her emotions, right? JK)
We're practicing our "Treat others the way we would like to be treated." However it's compounded by the fact she's going through the 3 year old shy stage. I hate that word 'shy'. I try to tell folks it takes a while to warm up to a strange environment but I suppose that takes more effort to say. She's getting better.
Thing is, once she's comfortable with you, she's a giant ham.
At a parent day open house at one of her classes, they asked each kid to stand up and say their name and a talent. My kid gets up and spouts out a CV longer than her wishlist to Santa.
We're also still practicing "Time wait for no one." Now she's slowly learning that if she asks to do something that crosses into bedtime hour, we need to take something away from our bedtime routine. ie. She wants to finish playing pretend kitchen, that means that we skip the story today. (We have a super long bed routine. Partly my fault but it works so I'm not knocking it.)

Do I explain Santa to my young one?

I was never a Santa fan. I just didn't understand why I was supposed to sit on a stranger's lap and in trust him with my deepest wishes.
Maybe I was born a true jaded New Yorker.
Plus at the tender age of 7 I caught my parents hiding presents under the tree with tags that said, "From Santa." It also didn't help they used the same wrapping paper as 'their' gifts. I was a big Encyclopedia Brown and Nancy Drew fan.
Anyway, I don't want to pass on my opinion of Santa to my kid. My kid is fairly logical so Santa I know will bring many questions.
Right now, she just knows he's a man dressed in red and white. He rides a sled with reindeer. He has something to do with Christmas and gifts.  Oh and he was rescued by the fire department. Annual event here in NYC.
That's about it.
I figure I'm not going to play it big with Santa. Instead I plan to answer questions that arise and play it by ear.
I'm not sure if that's going to be my lasting approach but for now I think that seems to be the best approach for now.

Keeping the Christmas gifts a surprise even from DH

I like to surprise my husband with the kids' toys as much as I like to surprise the kids which means I sit with what is under the tree anticipating Christmas morning as much as the kids.

It's not easy though. Sometimes you get that one gift you know is going to knock their socks off and I can't share it with DH because I want to see his reaction as much as the kids'.

That's my Christmas present, the joy and reaction to the surprise breakfast with hot chocolate, the smile seeing something they didn't expect, the happiness handing out cookies to friends and families.

At what age do you stop talking about Christmas plans in front of the kids?

We are hitting this point where DD is aware of Christmas and everything associated with it here in the US. She doesn't understand who Santa is but knows of Santa and has seen Santa. 

She doesn't have a concept that Santa brings gifts. She says Mommy and Daddy bring presents.

She doesn't ask for much which we are so proud of.

We also think this is because we focus on Christmas being a time of giving and being extra kind to folks, family and of Jesus' birthday.

We don't inundate her with gifts and try to keep with the three kings rule in our home, 3 gifts representing the 3 kings gifts to the Holy Family. So far, we've kept it toy, books and clothes.

For us Christmas is more about being together and sharing joy than what's under the tree. Ok, it's also about the train. My daughter loves Daddy's train under the tree.

Even though it's not about the presents, Mommy and Daddy still need to negotiate the presents. So do we speak about it in front of them? The first few years we didn't see it as an issue but now I'm wondering if we are hitting the point where we should try to refrain from the conversations? 

The vicious cooking cycle

It's a vicious cycle.
I'm too tired to cook so I ask DH to cook.
He asks me what to cook.
I give him detailed instructions.
3 hours later, dinner is ready.  I love my husband but how does pasta take 3 hours? Fresh pasta doesn't take that long to make!
Bedtime routine is topsy-turvy. I'm hungry and grumpy. The kids are hungry and sleepy and grumpy.
We eat and complete a shortened bedtime routine.
Still exhausted, I come out to relax a bit before having to pump and spy the kitchen.
Nearly every pot and pan is used and sitting on the counter, stove or sink awaiting cleaning.
If I don't clean it now, breakfast time will be awful.
If I clean it now, I incur the wrath of the husband who says, "I thought you were too tired to cook. Why are you cleaning the kitchen?"
I also realize the moment I wipe the counters clean, DS will awake and I will not be able to pump.
Therefore, sometimes it's better to suck up the tired, cook and hope to have a reprieve while pumping.

Swaddled all day except for active period. Is that ok?

How long do you keep your baby swaddled for?
I'm not talking about age wise. We figure we'll play it by ear like with our daughter. There came a point where she'd unswaddle herself and still stay asleep.  We figure it may be the same with #2.
I'm talking about during the day.
My son sleeps, eats, pees/poops and repeats with a few active moments.
I'm going to digress for a moment. Doesn't the above sentence make it sound like I have all the time in the freaking world? Seasoned parents know your kid may sleep 18 hours of the day but that does not mean whatsoever you have time to do basics such as shower.
Going back to the point, since he sleeps so much, he's swaddled most of the time.
DH and I started talking about this because DH wants him to be unswaddled more often mostly because his muslin swaddle holds in the most vicious toots you have ever smelled. I mean geez, how does his body produce that odor? He's 9 lbs! His stomach is the size of an egg! Come on now! I could only imagine what it would smell like if he was on formula.
My argument is that he sleeps better all comfy cozy and swaddled which gives me a longer period of time of uninterrupted sleep and more time for him to grow and develop during his slumber. Unswaddled equals shorter sleep bursts meaning I spend more time soothing back to slumber.
He even stays semi-swaddled when I wear him sometimes.
We keep him unswaddled during the active periods to explore and stretch.  I even keep him naked to allow him some nakey time because, heck, who doesn't like nakey time.
Just curious if folks keep their newborn swaddled most of the time.

So many cool things to try and see...

Tis the season for this mom to research and see what activities my child may be interested in.
Maybe it's because my dad was a big believer in this. Maybe it's because of what I read. All I know is that I'm a firm believer of allowing a child the opportunity to explore their interests. It allows for great learning experiences and as they get older, they can understand and hone what their true interests are.
At this tender age, learning comes from play and exploration. So DH and I try our best to give our kids as many opportunities to try, see and experience as much as possible.
I'm hitting this point though where it is getting tough. She still is exploring and so there are so many opportunities to try.
I'm big on allowing her free time so I don't overbook her. Still, there are so many things I'm wondering what to do.
She loves her music class. DH has asked we continue it so we plan to continue this class next semester.
It will be the dead of winter so I'd like a physical fitness type of activity to help keep the body limber and also to expend the energy that I know is being bottled up confined indoors. I was pretty much set on a sports exploration class but this evening I walk into my daughter's room to see her doing a tree pose. "Mama, look! I'm a tree. Remember when we did yoga? I want to do yoga with the teacher again."
She took a yoga class over the summer and loved it. So now I'm contemplating yoga for her.
Then I learn about a science exploration club that's starting up and I'm equally intrigued. My daughter has all these science based questions lately and our last experiment involving how a seed grows did not pan out as we had hoped. I have a brown thumb when it comes to plants. I nearly killed an aloe vera plant.
Now don't think I'm overbooking my kid and into rigid structure. I'm not. In fact all the activities my child has taken are staggered and both DH and I make it a point to have free time, quiet time and outdoor time daily as much as possible.
What's a mom to do though? You want your child to explore and experience as much as he/she can and yet balancing this with everything else in life is tricky. Not only am I balancing my to dos, I need to balance the to dos of my child while giving them positive leading by example. Juggle, juggle, juggle.