I've been sitting on this one for awhile partly because I'm exhausted and tired and partly because I really wanted to reflect on how far we've come.
Love is impossible but anything is possible through God. The line that struck me the most is this, "love that is able to withstand every pressure is out of your reach, as long as you're only looking withint yourself to find it."
If there is any situation where pressure is involved, it's the first year of parenthood and I honestly think doing the dare has helped me become stronger and my yoke lighter.
I know that love is from God. I look at my daughter and realize love is the greatest gift to receive and God gives it to us freely.
I recently told someone very dear to me that we do the things we do because of love not for accolades and when we grow tired and begin to compare we must remember we do it because we love.
Every night, as I nurse my child to sleep, I say our prayers and I always remind her that her mom, her dad and God love her.
This exercise reminds me of what I try to instill in her, love is possible because of God.
So the exercise asked, "Were there some things that felt impossible throughout the first half of this dare?" Yes and I'm sure there will be more.
There were some days where I questioned everything. I think it's human and natural. We just need to take a step back and see the bigger picture or trust in the bigger picture.
How do I feel? I feel like it's been a slow go for me but I'm happy to be doing this dare and my relationship is better because of it. Heck, I'm better for this. This dare isn't just about my relationship with my spouse but my own relationship with self and God.
She's been good with me filling her spoon and then holding the spoon and feeding herself but now she wants to try to scoop and fill it.
Yesterday, she tried to pick up the food that was in her bib pocket. Then when that didn't work, she took a carrot and stuck it on the spoon but when she tried to bring it to her mouth, she tipped the spoon over and the carrot fell.
She's mimicking more. Aside from the spoon, she pretends she's on the phone. It's hysterical as she really hasn't gotten the idea that the 'phone' should be on her ear so she puts it behind her head.
She's also crawling around at a record pace. I turned around to grab some clothes for her and she was out the bedroom door crawling down the hallway.
She's also doing this left leg foot walk where she crawls with her right leg but lifts up her left so that she pushes off on her foot. Pretty soon she's going to do that with her right foot, I'm sure.
I can't believe that tomorrow she will be turning 1. That blows my mind. This time last year, I was in a movie theatre watching 'Wall-E' wondering when our baby would arrive.
I asked DH how he felt being a dad to a '1 year old' and he said, "Fine. I'm going to be a dad for the rest of my life." I think he's excited.
She's clearly hugging me now and reaching for me which makes my heart warm up every time. Her morning smile just radiates the home and makes the start of the day delightful.
I suppose I should ask myself, "How do I feel being a mom to a 1 year old?" Phenomenal. My daughter is healthy, happy, smart, personable and loved. I couldn't ask for anything more.
In the past year, we gone through enough diapers to probably cover a cross country trip to California, read enough parenting books and magazines to write one on an infant's first year, changed my mind on parenting styles, learned I was a stronger woman than I thought I'd be, learned to be more patient, learned to be more accepting and got that much closer to not sweating the small stuff (even when the small stuff is big stuff).
On the relationship front, I wish I had more time with my spouse and I wish I didn't feel as though I need to be the duck kicking underwater but in the end, I know God gave me the strength and talents to do certain things just as God gave my husband talents in other areas.
All in all, it's been a tough year for my relationship with my husband but with hard work and communication, I think we've strengthened our relationship. It's going to get harder but we're not naive and know that our foundation is strong and we will continue to protect it and build upon it.
BG is using pointing and occasional sign language to convey her needs now. It is absolutely incredible.
Today she smacked her lips and moved her hand towards her mouth to gesture she was hungry for breakfast.
She also woke me up by bringing me her 'phone' (a very old zen that looks like our cell phones) and putting it by my ear. Yes, she's mimicing.
The learning she's doing is incredible and it reminds me every day how I am her example and I need to set good examples for her.
She put her phone to her ear and starting 'talking' and then passed it over to me. When I was sleeping and my eyes were closed, she grabbed my hand and placed the phone in my hand. That slays me. She does that with her flash cards as well. When she wants me to pronounce what is on the cards, she brings it to me, grabs my hand, opens it palm side up and sticks the card in my hand. She's a sponge. She's absorbing so much.
I started using this to my advantage and now after meals I 'brush' my teeth so she can mimic me brushing her teeth with her tiny toothbrush.
She's also slowly feeding herself with the spoon. She tests me now and then by appearing to drop the spoon by the dog but when I say 'no', she brings it back to her mouth and smiles. When she wants more, she gives me the empty spoon to fill up.
I can do this with foods that stick on the spoon but other items, like yogurt need to wait until she's mastered the motor skills to spoon things.
She's also a champ at finger foods and can eat nearly half a banana in a sitting.
She also lets us know when she needs a diaper change. She's not signing diaper although she understands it but vocally she makes this sentence that we don't understand but it's clearly interpreted to be "diaper change, please".
I do find that she seems very curious and likes when I name things for her. She already knows and sort of says:
Mama Dada MmmWah (the kiss sound) She says it when my husband goes out the door. Button Purple I'm not sure she knows the color purple but associates it with a shaped object instead. Bed Bath
Of course, no one understands her as much as her parents who sometimes don't understand her either.
She also knows how objects work and is eager to learn how other things work. She has a speak and say and she knows if she pulls the lever the middle arrow spins and a song or animal sound is heard but she's not that strong yet so only gets it to spin but not speak. So she'll bring the speak and say to me and take my hand and has me pull the lever with her.
I also mentioned before how she learned which knob was the volume knob on our receiver and when she found my husband removed it to prevent her from playing with it, she found the knob and tried to put it back in its slot.
She'll patiently sit with her colored shapes and happily pick them up so I can name them for her and show her where in the shape sorter they fit.
She dances. She'll turn on the music in her one sided home and move her shoulders and torso to the rhythm. She also likes AM 70's rock. Nothing gets her her torso moving as much as the piano keys on an Elton John song.
This is a fun time for me. Can you tell? I can see her brain growing and learning. It's fascinating and makes me strive to be a better role model for her. Sure, I'm apprehensive of the 'toddler years' that are waiting ahead but I'll survival hopefully a little less battered than some. It's just a wonderful thing to watch your child grow and learn. I can sit there for days and watch those cogs turn.
I was changing her diaper and she was giving me one of her usual toothy grins when I looked and saw a little glimmer of white protrude out of her top gum.
It's the top right tooth.
So far, she seems unphased.
She has been drinking more breast milk recently. I took it as the weather getting warmer and her being more mobile increasing thirst but maybe she's going through a growth spurt.
Ok, parents, have you ever gotten so tired watching your kid that you could use a nap? Have you ever tried to get your child to nap and you've been up for so long exerting all this energy to get this active child to sleep that you wind up dozing for a few minutes while he/she is crawling here and there? Well, DH and I are in that zone.
I swear the person the wrote this cartoon, Greedy for Tweety, has been there because every time I feel my lids get heavy, I think of this cartoon and that scene with Sylvester the Cat, the Dog, no one knows the name of, and the baseball bat (2:51).
Except in my case, the cat is me, the dog is my baby crawling towards the baseball bat which is something I forgotten to child proof, like my laptop or phone.
My husband calls it a time warp. "I swear, it's like time moved and she's crawling down the hallway when two seconds ago she was sitting next to me playing."
I've been reading up on toddlerhood and what to expect during the lovely ages of 2-4. From what I've read, I need to prepare for a marathon and a debate. It's making me a little nervous and sad that the 'easy' year is behind us. I laugh at 'easy' as reading back on the my little blurbs, I recall the stress, changes, uncertainty that new parenthood and a newborn brings.
I think my heart will break into a thousand pieces when the first major tantrum and first 'No!' happens. According to some of the moms I've spoken to, there are two approaches to impending toddlerhood, the fight for independance: denial (My child will never do that) and shelter building.
i'm too logical, or superstitous, to be in denial. I think I'm slowly preparing the sandbags in my bunker.
Aside from the tooth we've also had some other milestones. BG touched beach sand for the first time. Ok, it wasn't a real beach, it was the man made beach at the Seaport but still it was beach sand. She was apprehensive and left without a true opinion of sand. The parents on the other hand discovered, even if you only allow a child to put their feet and hands in the sand, it will somehow get in their diaper.
BG also stood up and 'drove' the parked car. She loved waving at me while I stood in front of the car.
It's not really a milestone and she's had mosquito bites before but BG got attacked by a family of mosquitos. She went out with DH to the park and came back with welts all over her knuckles and face. The poor girl still has the red marks all over her face.
BG is also pushing herself up to standing by herself and testing the waters as I've caught her letting go of whatever she's holding on to for brief seconds and standing by herself.
It's true what they say, as soon as they learn they can crawl, their standing and cruising.
We've been babyproofing bit by bit as we're seeing how inquisitive our little girl is. So far, she's into closing cabinets and dresser drawer knobs. We've budgeted for more expensive, sturdy gates but opted out of expensive drawer appliances. We heard totlocks are good but DH says that his brain can't recall where he put his keys and that unless we had 20 totlock keys, he'd always lose it. So we bought a few of the hook kinds but haven't set them up yet. Right now we have painters tape, which is doing a surprisingly good job holding the drawers closed.
We know in a few weeks this is not going to be good enough as BG has already figured out the mechanics of some items.
Right now, we're debating the beach. I'd love for her to experience the beach but I think she's still too young to warrant the outing. For us a trip to the beach means packing the car and driving and enduring the traffic (which is what I dread the most) for a few hours of me chasing my husband to put sunscreen on the baby. Still, she loves the water so I'm researching beaches in the area and looking for a beach that is clean, family friendly, not too far and not too crowded that the traffic increase travel time 2 fold.
Any New York families know of a beach that fits the criteria?
Last week, a friend who hadn't seen me in a while said that I looked more confident, radiant and put together. "Motherhood has really done you well. I think it fits like a glove for you."
Even though she told me this right after a 2.5 hour marathon session of 'baby does not want to sleep but crawl and explore in the dead of night', I swelled with pride. I am proud to be a mom and think one of my reasons for being here is to be a mom.
Since becoming a mom, I've become a better person. I don't sweat the small stuff as much. I'm not as obsessive compulsive and anal retentive. I try to appreciate life more and it really doesn't take much for me to smile and feel joy. One look in my beautiful baby's face and the stresses and worries and aggravations subside.
I'm still learning but I think that's a part of motherhood. If you thought you juggled plates before being a mom, wait until you become one. All of a sudden you are juggling plates while balancing on a ball and smiling.
I think I've grown as a person and will continue to grow and society will be better for it. I've gained some patience, some compassion and some understanding.
I wish I had more energy and time to improve my role as a wife. My husband and I have been together for over a decade before our baby arrived. During that time I babied my husband and I suppose we both liked the arrangement. Now, my attention is more on my baby and I guess I treat my husband more like an adult than he'd like sometimes. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I treated him like a child but that I gave him more leeway and more attention. Now as I'm juggling, I find that my leeway is tighter. I expect a bit more from him. I see him differently. He's always been my partner but I think my expectations for him have changed.
Don't get me wrong. I love him with all my heart. DH is smart, funny, intelligent and has the potential to be whatever he sets his heart to be or do. He's also very opinionated, impulsive and over confident sometimes but that's what attracted me to him I suppose. We all search for partners that balance us out.
After a long day of work and then clocking in for my nighttime parenting shift, I'm super tired and exhausted and find it hard to be as enthusastic about my husband's ability to clean the bathroom when I asked him to do it.
Still I need to try to acknowledge it more. My relationship with my husband doesn't stop because I have a baby.
I had no idea this baby had so much breastmilk in her.
The first incident happened after she woke up from her sleep around 7:30pm. She had fallen asleep around 6:30, earlier than usual. She kept rubbing her eyes so we put her to bed early. She slept until 7:30pm when she woke up fussy.
As I was about to change her diaper, she let it rip all over my shirt, shorts and bed. We changed the sheets and changed her pjs and placed her on the floor as we cleared everything when she got sick again on our carpet. Mental note: put a sick baby on a changing pad.
Thankfully she didn't get her pjs dirty. DH, cleaned her face up and placed her in the crib and scrubbed the carpet while I washed up.
I came back to find my little girl with a hound dog look on her face and pinkish red eye lids. DH remarked she looked like she was in shock.
BG kept lifting her arms at me and so I picked her up and she wrapped her arms around me and started to hiccup, body shaking hiccups. She placed her head on my shoulder and I began rubbing her back gently as she continued to hiccup for 20 minutes.
As the hiccups subsided, she started to feel cool and clammy. She didn't have a fever but she felt warm before. Then without lifting her head up, she threw up all over my shoulder and onto our carpet again.
I brought her out towards the bathroom to clean her up when she threw up once more all over my shirt, shorts and the rug.
I placed her in the bathtub and cleaned her up and after 10 minutes in her bathtub, the color came back.
A change of bed linens, two baths and 4 pj changes later, we're up chuckling it away with dad.
We're guessing that since she didn't have a fever and she requested breastmilk 45 minutes ago, she's ok and she most likely was overheated as our apartment is rather warm today. We now have the air conditioning on and she seems much better.
I'm glad she looks and feels better but there goes my hopes of getting back to our usual 7pm bedtime routine.
Throughout our trip this week, BG has been going to bed at 8pm or later. Unfortunately due to the timing of the drive, we made it to the hotels around 8pm and had to wake up BG. Of course, she didn't go back to bed so easily after the rude awakenings.
Maybe we'll try again tomorrow. Her naps are slowly getting back to her usual time 11am and 1/2 pm.
I swear in less than one week, BG has become mobile and is not pulling herself up to nearly standing.
My favorite part, although it's a toughie for me, is when she is sleeping, she'll roll over to her stomach, push up and pull herself up to sitting. She then opens her eyes with a look of, "How'd I get here?" and proceed to cry for me to put her back into sleeping position.
I say it's my favorite because she does this all in her sleep. Her eyes are closed and she silent. I noticed it the other day and nearly busted out laughing. I'm going to have to get the night vision camera out to film it.
Yesterday, she skipped a nap and was beside herself when it was time to settle in for her bedtime. She kept flipping, pulling and sitting but she added a flopping. She did this drunken master kind of teetering before flopping over and then repeating the whole thing. I think she probably hit all four directions with this move. She looked like a Cirque de Soleil tumbler.
With the new found mobility, comes the furniture moving. We've now pushed our bed to a wall, moved the couch to open up a new play area for her and moved as many extension cords and wires up high. She seems to love wires. I'm trying not to get sucked into the babyproof the entire house with gizmos and gadgets. One: It's too expensive and Two: I think I need to use my common sense a bit. Afterall, I survived a childhood without childproofing. Steel poles in concrete, steel plate swings and wooden seesaws were my playground.
She also loves the computer so she crawls to the laptop whenever she can.
Yesterday, my husband knew he was in for it when he swears he plopped her in front of his computer and blinked and she was heading towards our entertainment center. "It was like a time warp. Our daughter tired her dad out."
She's also running away from diaper changes. She becomes interested in her surrounds that she flips over and starts crawling away before I can even wipe her bottom. This has lead to alot of wrestling and making silly faces to keep her attention. I've also mastered the quick wipe and diaper slap.
We also cleaned our her closet again. Holy moly, she's a size 12-18 months already. She's 29" long and enjoys pulling her socks off. We keep her barefoot unless we're outside and only slap on shoes if we think she'll be walking around or standing up.
BG is also learning to put her spoon in her mouth. The majority of her food doesn't make it in but at least she manages to get the spoon in her mouth every now and then.
She also says, "Mmm" to signify she wants solids. I'll ask her, "Eat?" and give her the sign language for it and she smiles and says, "Mmm." if she is hungry.
She also slaps my breasts a happy slap every now and then. I think it's hysterical except when it's in public. She's been known to pull my blouse down when she's thirsty.
As for other remarkable things:
She claps her hands (Thanks to numerous renditions of 'If you're happy and you know it.') If you put your hands up in front of her, she'll put them together to show you how to clap. She recognizes her stuffed animal names and will pull them up to show you if you say their name. She tries to say 'blue' but says 'boo'. She rides her wheely bug and turbo turtle with zeal and body shaking excitement. She says 'daddy' not just 'dada'. She sits and quietly flips through her board books instead of just slamming them shut. She practices her b words although she only can pronounce the 'b' sound. She points at her ball, my buttons, the color blue. I've noticed, she seems to be attracted to 'blue items'. She grabs her blue shapes and toys first. She loves to put things in boxes and take them out. She's slowly learning that not everything fits in containers. Somethings are too small or too big. She loves music and bops to any music. Music will steer her attention away immediately. She doesn't cry when she falls over anymore. She just picks herself back up. She can stand with assistance, sit on a pillow and pull herself back up by herself. She waves if you say, "Hello" or if she thinks you are friendly. She even taught a playmate how to wave. Do I sense a future teacher?
Matthew 18:22 I've been bad and not focusing on the dare. Life has been getting in the way but that isn't an excuse as the point of the dare is to reconnect and make an effort however tough it may be. I got lost along the way. I need to remind myself of my role as wife. I'm not just the lady that lives with him and makes sure that he doesn't leave the house with a hole in his pants or the lady that knows where his keys or assorted items are. I'm his lifelong companion and part of my duties is to protect him and the one thing I haven't been doing is protect him from me. I've been so busy being a worker bee, being a daughter, being a mother, being a sister, being a friend that I forgot to be a friend to my husband. I forgot to be his cheerleader. For a while I've been stuck with the day to day. I wake up, feed the baby, rush to work, work, rush home, rush to get a meal on the table, feed my family and get my baby to bed to start the day again. In between, I'm busy trying to schedule in chores and planning outings, trips, excursions, family events, etc. It started getting heavy. I wondered who was bolstering me. I asked why must I be the one who does all this. I still do but I suppose I forgot that even though I do alot, that doesn't mean that DH shouldn't get attention and protection. I inadvertently kept pushing him aside. DH can take care of himself. I suppose in away it was my way of displacing my hurt for not being able to care for our child by staying at home. I know I care for her in other ways including working and I know that I compensate by doing other things like reading copious journals on development and going out of my way to plan outings or special meals. It still hurts though. Things happen for a reason though and I need to trust the Lord and be thankful for the blessings I have and that includes my husband. So I am sorry for placing my husband third and I'm sorry that I may be a bit callous with my thoughts, words and actions toward him. Love begets love and I must remember that although we both know we love each other, we shouldn't use that as an excuse to not display love. I may not understand my husband sometimes and I may not approve of his actions at times and I may not like his human faults but he is human. I too am human and must try to be more understanding. It's not going to be easy. Many times I feel like I'm always just accepting. It is what it is but I must not do so with a resignation in my heart. Things are what they are and there is a method to the madness. Patience, young grasshopper. Patience.
I never took Mom's Day to mean much but now that I'm a mom, I understand why it's needed. I don't think Moms in general want accolades but they do want to be acknowledged for all they do every day, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. I have an infant and I'm pretty sure it's going to get a lot more hectic in my life. I'm not sure how I'm going to balance that. I'm not sure how I balance everything now but I suppose as a Mom, we find a way and we do so without request.
Dad's are special too and they get their special day but Mom's are ducks paddling away underwater while still looking calm and put together (at least I hope I look put together most days). Mom's are circus performers juggling balls, spinning plates and taming lions all while smiling and entertaining the troops.
Happy Mother's Day to you and to all Mothers out there.
I hope you have the day you desire, whether it be a family day or a 'me' day and here is hoping the next 365 days 'til the next Mother's Day are filled with less juggling and more savoring.
Oh and on a 'the best mother's day present' ever front, my 10 month old (double digits already!) daughter woke me up at 4:30 this morning. She looked at me and said clearly, "Mama." I'm fairly certain she did say it and it wasn't a dream as her eyes were wide open and I'm pretty sure she actually was referring to me as "Mama" and not just saying it. Of course, she stayed up until 8am and we missed church but I couldn't have asked for a better Mother's Day (1st Mother's Day at that) present.
Ok, it's not as if she knows what she's saying but we have definitive copying.
It started two days ago with her mimicking me saying, "two."
She gets so proud when she mimics us too.
Now she says 'two', 'boo', 'dada' and a weird version of 'who' when we say them. She also gently gives me 'ten' and 'five' when I ask.
She waves a slow, stately wave as if she was the Queen of England.
She stares at strangers intently as if she's making a judgment call, are you friendly or do I move on? Trips on the bus and subway have become social events for her.
On the playground scene, her hair is pretty attractive to the boys. She's had her share of hair pulling to the point where she has this personal space thing going on. She doesn't mind playing and sharing but get in her face or hover over her and she's going to tell you to back off. She doesn't push but she is pretty vocal.
This time last year, I was panicking because I didn't have half the equipment I was 'supposed' to have. Now, I'm looking at my wipe warmer wondering why I thought this was essential, my diaper pail wondering if that was really necessary and preparing to lower the crib bed for the first time!
Wow time flies.
BG is according to our pediatrician a social vocal girl. She foresees her excelling in these areas. That's a nice way of saying our baby isn't the physical type. That's ok. She's content to play with what's around her and doesn't get too frustrated when she can't reach another toy.
She is slowly learning to pick herself up. She gets to her knees and then sits back down but it's a start.
Ok, it’s been a while and it hasn’t been because I haven’t been trying to continue the Love Dare. I have. I’m just stuck. I can’t complete this task? Why? Well, my husband isn’t into the dare and honestly, I know that this dare will be futile with my husband’s current temperament. The dare is to have a dinner with your spouse and focus on him. Learn something new about him. Bring up questions you wouldn’t dare to ask or haven’t thought to ask. Ok, I can use the we have an infant excuse and dinner consists of cramming something fast into my gut while trying to feed her. I can use the excuse that I work fulltime and by the time I get home, I’ve got my second hat on getting my child ready to settle down and get ready for bed. The fact is, I feel this exercise would be futile as my husband isn’t the type of guy to open up and if he were to open up, it’s about something that he stewed in his head for a while (a day in his head is a while). So I’ve been trying to complete this task but I have not been successful. I’m trying to find a good time where we’re both not being parents and not total inundated with ‘to-dos’ that dominate our thoughts. Maybe I’ll skip this one and try again in a few weeks. I’ll move on to the next one and see what happens.
It took forever but I finally received my Green EZ Pass. For those who drive a low emission vehicle (hybrids), you may be eligible for a discounted EZ Pass. Essentially, there are two green plans. Quotes from the NY EZ-Pass website: Port Authority Green Pass Discount Plan**: Eligible vehicles receive a 50% discount off the cash toll rate during off-peak hours at all Port Authority crossings. A special green tag is issued to qualified vehicles that meet the specific emissions standards as outlined on the Port Authority's website at www.panynj.info. Plan Code: (PAGRN) Thruway Green Pass Discount Plan**: Receive a special 10% discount on all Thruway facilities for Hybrid vehicles that get at least 45 miles to the gallon and meet specific emissions standards as outlined on the Authority’s website www.nysthruway.gov. Cannot be combined with commuter plans. Plan Code: (GREEN) It’s not a lot but it’s something. I started the process in October. Why did it take so long? Several things happened but the main wait was due to EZ-Pass moving their facilities and losing my paperwork. To apply, you will need to fax/mail a completed EZ-Pass form (even if you have an existing EZ Pass) and your vehicle’s registration. Here are some notes to help you out, depending on where you live, you are given an EZ-Pass managed by a specific authority (NYS/NJ/Port Authority/MTA). This will effect which plan(s) you are eligible for. FYI, here are the common tag prefixes and their associated owners: 005 = Port Authority of NY/NJ 004 = NYS Thruway 008 = MTA 022 = NJ In my case, I had a NJ pass. I had applied for EZ-Pass before it was in NY and still had my NJ pass. Long short, I had to cancel that pass and apply for a NY pass. However, due to my location in Manhattan, they gave me an MTA pass which wasn’t eligible for either NYS Thruway or PANYNJ pass. So I had to write copious letters and send everyone my registration and one of those purple forms (not electronic but paper copy – how antiquated) to resolve the issue before they could even accept my request for a green pass. I was getting so frustrated, I was ready to call Susan Jhun at NY1 because the amount of paperwork I was sending to EZ-Pass was killing a small forest in South Jersey. The process isn’t very green, NY EZPass. Kermit the Frog would be ashamed. {Honestly, I couldn’t think of a green animal mascot that would be like Smokey the Bear so I used Kermit. Is there a ‘go green’ mascot?} Honestly, they didn’t make it easy for me and I got learn customer service reps at the Staten Island facilities through my dealings but I am now a proud owner of a green EZ-Pass.
I didn’t want to spend the time on writing an entry on the Hanna Rosin’s article, ‘The Case against Breastfeeding.’ There are far too many articles and entries regarding this article. However, after seeing all the talk on television and the response from the AAP, I needed to add my two cents, as a new mom. If you read any of my entries in the beginning of my venture into mommyhood, you will know I had struggles with breastfeeding. Throughout my struggles, I received support from family and friends but for the most part, clinicians and strangers all had the same message to me, “It’s ok if you don’t breastfeed. It’s ok if you give her formula. It’s ok.” I understood that they were trying to let me know my options but in some cases, the clinicians, even the lactation consultant at the hospital seemed to reiterate these stock lines before I even said hello. Personally, I didn’t want to hear that it was ok. I knew it was ok. I wanted help. I wanted support and the only way I got it was to actively find help. I searched the internet. I chatted with other moms online. I dragged my bloated, tired self to meet other moms who breastfed. I hired consultants and had a consultation with a lactation physician. Anyone who told me they breastfed was a resource I drained of any information. I willingly whipped out my breasts to anyone that said they had breastfeeding advice for me. I don’t think I’m out of the norm on this. Ok, maybe the whole whipping the breasts out part. Most of the moms I’ve met and spoken to all had to search for help and positive feedback on breastfeeding. And you know what? Any woman and in several cases, man who said they breastfed, knew how I was feeling and willingly gave me contacts and advice. Sometimes, they just let me vent. In a society where studies and what I consider common sense, informs us of the benefits of breastfeeding, I find it particularly strange that advocacy is lacking. Yes, Ms. Rosin is disputing the 'mass media studies' but anyone who has ever read a scientific journal will tell you study findings always have 'inconsistent findings'. There are just too many factors. Clinicians reiterate stock lines regarding breastfeeding. Most hospitals and physician practices have ‘formula’ closets stocked to the brim by manufacturers free of charge. Every other day I hear of a woman’s right to breastfeed being infringed upon. Breastfeeding is not common in today’s modern society. Because of such, you will develop a stronger connection with your fellow breastfeeding neighborhood mom but I have yet to see a roving band of ’Hell’s Grannies’ terrorizing neighborhood play yards with their full heaving breasts puffed out in bravado. Formula vs breast is a choice and sometimes it isn’t but I haven’t met a mom that scorned me for my decision to go through the ups and downs I had in the very beginning. Nor have I met a mom who scorned another mom for formula feeding or weaning. If anything, I’ve discovered a new comraderie with women and mothers. Complete strangers become members of the Sherpa society of parenthood wear the uniform consists of jeans designed with spit up, frazzled looking hair and dark sunglasses (to cover the dark circles). There is an unspoken acknowledgement that there isn’t a set path of rights and wrongs in parenthood. There are a million forks in the road and you respect that the majority of parents out there only want the best for their children. I feel for Ms. Rosin as she seems to have had a negative breastfeeding experience with all three of her kids. Is there sense of ‘what if’ in her mind? What if I didn’t breastfeed? Would my career path be different? Ms. Rosin seems to have felt an obligation to breastfeeding and associates it with sacrificing. Breastfeeding is hard and one should not feel like they must do so at the risk of her own health, emotionally and physically. So when a mom decides to wean or formula feed, no one I know would belittle her decision. I’m sorry Ms. Rosin had a bad experience with breastfeeding and didn't receive support in her decisions but I wonder if this is more of a retrospective subjective outlook closeted as a feminist piece.
Today, BG went to her first magic show. She seemed interested in the bigger visual tricks versus the smaller ones but she seemed very excited when we participated in audience participation. When the magician asked the kids to wave their hands in the air, she waved her hands with a little encouragement.
She also seemed interested in watching all the other babies and toddlers.
Side note: the location had little toilets in the bathroom. They were so adorable looking. Teachers at elementary school are probably used to that but average janes like me found it amusing.
This biggest first today was her first time on a slide. DH sat her up top and let go of her but followed her down the slide. I waited at the bottom to catch her. She sat up the entire time and loved it. She smiled a big smile and kicked her legs with excitement. Looking at her parents, you'd think she found the cure for the cold
By her expressions whenever her dad 'flies' her around, plays 'stunt baby' or plays 'broken elevator', she's going to love amusement parks and rides.
Yesterday, for the first time, I truly got the red face poop face. BG was sitting in her high chair while DH and I were eating dinner. One minute she was happily playing and watching us eat. The next minute, BG started grunting and then her face turned pink and her eyes turned reddish. She looked like she was holding her breath but then relaxed. She did this twice. Afterwards, she was really fidgety like when she tells us she has a dirty diaper.
Sure enough, she pooped.
I guess going to the bathroom is a full body event especially when you are only 18 lbs.
BG is 8 months and 1 week old. Last time she had green beans she didn’t particularly like it but she didn’t really express her dislike. Now that she is 8 months old, she let us know she is not a fan of green beans. She started gagging and whining. Then DH gave her a spoonful of baked apple. She happily partook of it and probably devoured it to wash out the green bean taste. I think she dislikes green beans because 1. It is the first non-smooth textured food she has had and 2. It doesn’t taste sweet or of anything in particular. DH was cracking up watching her show her displeasure for green beans. Guess we are putting the green beans away again. They say try new foods at least 8-10 times before ruling it out. I think next time, I may mix it with something she does like that has a smoother consistency. Maybe introducing it that way may make it more palatable.
