Now What?

Have you ever woken up feeling more tired than refreshed? Such is my day. I can't seem to concentrate and I feel like I'm in front of tennis ball machine and I'm getting pelted left and right.
I suppose it was a restless night's sleep but surprisingly, I got more sleep last night than most nights.
I noticed DH looking a bit haggard as well. I think we both need something to refresh ourselves. What I don't know.
TG has been testing now. She seems to have started to test what she can and cannot do with us. The latest is not eating her eggs and feeding them to the dog.
Personally, I'd probably just stick with the yogurt for breakfast and give her a protein for lunch until she's past this whole no eggs kick but DH feels its important to have a protein for breakfast. I agree but I'm not going to fight it, especially when I feel this tuckered out. Maybe tomorrow I'll make the egg into 'spaghetti strips' and see if she'll eat it.
We have another crazy week ahead with Chinese New Years and Valentine's falling on the same day. I usually don't make a big deal about Valentine's but since DH and I seem to need some type of pick me up, I've got something up my sleeve.
Oh, I looked over my recipe book I was compiling for my future kids and I realized, wow, I have tried to make a lot of stuff and a lot of it sounds yummy. Maybe I should take a page or two and make those dishes instead of just the same old same old.
I know that sounds simple but for some reason, I've completely forgot to look back at my homemade recipe book.
Oh and just because I'm feeling non sequitur, two nights ago, I dreamt my husband was Jack Bauer and our house kept getting invaded by foreign military. Strangely enough, even though it was annoying, I felt my daughter and I were safe knowing my husband was Jack Bauer. It was bizarro as they literally would come in with guns pointed at us but I wasn't scared. Now if this was really '24' and not my dream, I'd be peeing myself as family seems to be the first to go on the show but I was calm enough to offer the folks who held us hostage something to drink. What the heck does that mean?

My kid loves soup.  My 19 month old takes to soup like an elderly person.  Yesterday, my daughter ate an entire serving and a half of chicken soup with carrots medallions, sliced bok choy, celery and bite size chicken breast nuggets.  She used a straw to drink the literal last drop in her bowl.  She used her spoon, her fork, my spoon, my chopsticks.  When I see my daughter's grin as she's enjoying a home cooked meal I know I'm doing something good.
Today is my mother's birthday.  It's a milestone birthday.  We got together and had a nice seafood dinner at my place.  I spent the day prepping and cleaning.  It was cathartic and in a strange way symbiotic.  TG and I were home and we worked together to get things done smoothly, quickly and easily.  I gave her the duster and she went around the house pushing and dusting the lower shelves and floorboards.  
When I had to vacuum, her least favorite object in the house, I made sure I warned her and did so as far away as possible from her. 
I think she's warming up to it slowly as she not only pets the vacuum when it's not on but now realizes it's role and job and doesn't scream out, "All done!" when she hears it turn on.
After I vacuum an area and turn it off, she'll toddle over to it and touch it and look at me.  When I warn her that I'll turn it on again, she'll toddle to another room and wait for me to turn it off again.  She still happily closes the utility closet door when I put it away though.  Slowly but surely.  
Her doctor said that her aversion to it may have come from something that happened when she was younger.  "Perhaps, someone vacuumed next to her or worse used the arm attachment near her.  Adults forget how monster like a vacuum can seem to a small child."
In my list of to dos for the shindig, I also had two wishlist items that we were able to accomplish, take a bath/shower.  TG woke up early from her nap and we both were able to wash up.  
This was much needed as TG smelled like soup.  At least soup for the most part is homey and evokes comfort.  I'm surprised Yankee Candle hasn't invented a 'Soup' scent.
My brother had a great idea of encapsulating my mother's hand and my daughter's hand in clay mold.  My mom seemed to like this but I don't think she quite comprehended what we wanted to do.  She seemed distant.
TG did make her day when she called everyone by their Chinese titles.  She even called my mom by her title without a reminder or a request.  She toddled over and gave her a ball and said, "Paw Paw?  Ball."  That was probably the best gift she received.
The day before TG and I worked on an art project for her as a present.  TG painted a picture and put stickers on her modern artwork.  She gave it to her today and she was thrilled.  
I'd like to think my mom was pretty proud of TG and in a small part me for how I am trying to raise her.  I know she doesn't completely understand how and why we do what we do but I think she knows we are doing what we think is best.

TG likes to take apart my husband's wallet.
As of today, my husband is now missing all of his bank cards and a few ids. We have no idea where they may be. When I hinted they may be in the trash, my husband was rightly upset.
I'd like to think my toddler wouldn't throw anything but trash in the trash but she may have a different definition of trash than us adults have. Heck, she ran around with the toilet plunger the other day much to the disgust of my husband who nearly did a Silkwood on her following the plunger incident.
Surprisingly, I'm turning out to be more of a laid back mom when it comes to messes. I was wondering how my OCD would be and if I'd be some Mrs. Pristine type of mom.
So far, I'm probably more open minded about messes than my husband.
For example, I don't feed our daughter. I let her feed herself, even if that means she uses her hands, every utensil on the table including ours, spills most of it on herself, the floor or the dog etc. DH cannot stand this and will feed our daughter. For him it probably seems more efficient. It takes less time and it's less messy.
For me, I'm all about her having fun exploring her food and listening to her tummy. I'm also keen on her mastering utensils. You can't do that without application. Guess that's what you get when you learn to use chopsticks at an early age.
Even with painting, I'm pretty laid back, I think. Clothes and the floor can always be cleaned. Today, while TG was making a birthday painting for her grandmom, she Jackson Pollack'd her feet. I thought it was cute and took a picture. I drew the line when she tried to grab my phone with her purple/orange/turquoise hands.
Honestly, I probably don't mind so much the crayons on our wall because I know they are washable and in a totally revealing admission, I love the fact my house has signs of kid life in it. I sometimes complain about having to wake up at 3am to tidy up toys and broken crayon pieces but I don't mind so much because it's evidence of kid fun. I want my child to never feel confined to some Victorian childhood. Dresses with matching hats and shoes are great sometimes but there is something to be said about a tee-shirt and jeans/sweatpants.
Now if I can only somehow get DH to hide his keys and wallet or put them away.

Feeling overwhelmed today.
It's hard being everywoman. It's even harder trying to keep my ideals and beliefs into play. When it comes to food I'm a stickler for healthy low processed foods. I believe what I put into my family's body affects their health and well being. I spend a little more, invest a little more time so my family benefits.
Occasionally time gets the better of me. One of the benefits of my OCD is I usually have backup plans. I try to have something marinating or parcooked in the freezer or fridge. I used to make large batches of food and freeze for such an occasion.
If you followed my pregnancy you know that I made large quantities of food and labelled them for my husband to cook. You can blame my OCD or whatever but the instructions were for naught.
With DH's attention to calorie counting preparing a meal has gotten a little more stressful. I try not to leave extra portions and meals premade to prevent him succumbing to temptation.
That means more on the fly cooking. I don't mind as it is healthier to avoid family style meals but that means my nights are a whirlwind of activity. It's gotten to the point where I know my eyes don't seem focused and I may appear at a distance.
As soon as I get home it's a card game of spend time with TG, clear the kitchen, prepare a meal, tidy up the play area (the entire apartment essentially), catch up with DH before he leaves, decompress from the day & prepare TG to go to bed. All this while trying to convey a tranquil soothing going to bed atmosphere.
I know I'm not the only mom out there who is going through this. Some have it better. Some have I worse.
I'd just like a lifeline right now. Ten minutes locked away would be nice.

Stickers are a big hit with TG and her playmates. Even on the airplane, she took stickers and placed them on the television monitor. Thankfully, this mommy was smart enough to bring along the repositionable stickers.
We also started introducing painting with a brush and that seems to be a hit. The crayons were being used more as teething devices than for actual coloring, unless you count coloring of ones teeth.
To save money to help tiny toddler fingers, I have started making stickers out of heavy stock construction paper. I punch out 1.5" square pieces and stamp them with numbers, letters and shapes. I then place them on wax paper and the kids can peel them off and place them on paper or back onto wax paper (TG's favorite).
I'm trying to think of a cool project for Valentine's day for a nearly 2 year old. Since she seems to like the heart shape (she placed heart shaped stickers all over her Dad's foot the other day), I'm thinking of drawing a heart and then using red construction paper to practice tearing and gluing. I think it's a bit advanced and I' not sure how the tearing will be interpreted (books? magazines?). Maybe next year. I can always just make heart stickers again. We'll see.
Oh, apparently the food strike is going around. All her playmates have been leaning towards the finicky end this week. We did manage to get two out of three kids to eat breakfast one day when all three sat together at the dining room table and ate. Of course, my daughter, the one who likes to feed everyone, initiated this with a very clear exclamation, "Hungry." I love how my 18 month old can tell me clearly she's hungry. Next thing you know, she's passing pancakes to her playmates and their noshing and gabbing at the table.
I may have to start making the sweet potato pancakes again. Still a no go on whole green veggies.

All this eating pasta and decreased protein, veggies, fruits and yogurt has lead to some tummy trouble for TG. I surmised this as this afternoon, I noticed she hadn't pooped yet. Plus, she kept taking DH to the bathroom and saying, "Poop." Everytime DH put her on the potty though, she just sat there.
Then she came up to me and pressed on her tummy deliberately and not in the 'I'm pointing to my tummy' way. I had just finished reading an article about signs toddlers use to tell you about tummy distress and that was one of them.
DH was oblivious of this and didn't think it was a bit deal. I'm sure it wasn't but I figured if my child is trying to communicate to me that she has a poop that won't come out, I'm going to help her. It also helps that I was a pretty constipated child back in the days. Yes, the anal retention manifested into physical form as well.
Mommy cook that I am, I prepared for her a nice yummy dinner of baked butternut squash, stewed cinammon apples and alphabet pasta.
30 minutes after her delicious meal, success.
Now, maybe TG will go back to eating a more balanced diet. I left a chicken loaf and some baked squash for tomorrow's lunch.

TG has now entered a week of picking out pasta and eating only pasta. She won't even eat shrimp which is one of her favorites. She's eating 1-3 pieces of protein and then diving into the pasta.
I'm compensating by serving pasta with veggie sauce. She's still not eating veggies whole. She likes it mushed or if it's orange. Green stuff, not so much. I've been dealing with it by serving carrots and sweet potatoes and squash. She'll eat spinach if I add it to her meatloaf.
It's not that she doesn't like it. She's eaten them before but I suppose it's a texture aversion. She still only has 8 teeth. Should I be worrying? All her playmates have incisors and molars cutting in.
Anyway, my latest invention is shrimp and avocado pasta salad. I make guacamole and toss in some salad and cooked shrimp. If I'm lucky, she'll eat 2-3 pieces of shrimp and then eat the pasta that has been coated in avocado.
Hope this phase passes soon.